Worthiness
Currently, I don't feel that I'm worthy of anything. Sometimes I wonder if I had made a bad decision in my life.When you are at the stage of your life where you live depending on someone else's money is so hurtful and painful.
For almost 2 years, I have been a stay at home mum. The feeling of unworthiness for almost 2 years is something that I must remember for the rest of my life. No money to eat, no money to pay for the car, 3 months default for insurance and lastly the help from others are not going to be forever. It is a lesson for me to never stop learning and upgrading myself.Despite everything is good, I must make myself a step ahead continuously.
Now, it feels like I have to start all over again from the beginning. Because to accept that my degree and working experience does not help me to get a good salary wise decent job is a painful truth that I have to fathom.
I did wish my life will be better but I soon realized that it will never get better. I knew that I had resorted to the easiest way to solve this but it shows that the solution has failed.
The truth fact of life: No one else can really save you except your ownself.When you have problem in your life, the help will come for only a short period of time and even your partner cant help you, thus we need to have that extra cushion and that is our own continuous learning and self development/ growth or in other words your self-worthiness.
I regret to stop on learning. I always have the intention to learn again but I always does not have enough time. I always cannot find the time. I must make the time. A stay at home mum is not easy for me (for those who think it is- congrats you are a superwoman). I still I have to find the time. That is my weakness - to not able to find the time..
Now, it feels like I have to start all over again from the beginning. Because to accept that my degree and working experience does not help me to get a good salary wise decent job is a painful truth that I have to fathom.
I did wish my life will be better but I soon realized that it will never get better. I knew that I had resorted to the easiest way to solve this but it shows that the solution has failed.
The truth fact of life: No one else can really save you except your ownself.When you have problem in your life, the help will come for only a short period of time and even your partner cant help you, thus we need to have that extra cushion and that is our own continuous learning and self development/ growth or in other words your self-worthiness.
I regret to stop on learning. I always have the intention to learn again but I always does not have enough time. I always cannot find the time. I must make the time. A stay at home mum is not easy for me (for those who think it is- congrats you are a superwoman). I still I have to find the time. That is my weakness - to not able to find the time..
